Friday, January 27, 2012

Last Entry

Jacqueline Cheryl Mountford Lunot - January 16, 1972 - Jan 25, 2012.

I know that Jackie’s friends know what a wonderful person she was, and I’m assuming those in support of me (my friends) feel the same toward me, but I wanted to share this with you all so that you know that you were not only supporting a great person but also an awesome relationship.



I was in the seventh grade and Jackie in the fifth. I knew her because she was cute and mature for her age. (By mature I mean she wore a training bra)  One recess a friend of hers named Claire approached me and said “Jackie Mountford wants to go around with you”, so I said “sure”. Of course Jackie and I never spoke that recess and later that day at lunch, Claire came over and said “Jackie doesn’t want to go around with you anymore, she likes Mike Davidson” (another grade seven boy) so I said, “Ok”, and that was our first “relationship”

            Fast forward 3 years. We went to a junior high school so the grades went from 8-10. Being a “big” tenth grader and somewhat popular, I thought I was something special; after all, I had the coolest mullet around. One day a grade eight girl approached me in the hallway and said, “Jackie Mountford likes you” then walked away. I immediately found her (Jackie) with a group of girls and arrogantly stated “so I hear you like me” and she replied “No” and walked away. I stood there feeling ridiculous as 8th graders laughed at my expense. Later that evening I received a phone call at home from none other than…Jackie! She asked me why I tried to embarrass her in front of her friends and basically put me in my place. We started chatting on the phone and at school (this was well before email and instant messaging) I’ll admit I was attracted to her and being the romantic guy that I was I told her I was going to ask out Julie (a 9th grader) and if she said no to me AND when Jackie got her braces off then we could go out.

Romantic huh ;)

            It turned out that Julie didn’t like me and as soon a Jackie’s braces were removed (a few weeks later) we officially started “going out”. A typical high school relationship; fight – break up – get back together, this went on for 3 years or so. Eventually she got sick of my crap and dumped me for good. I was heartbroken. I tried so hard to get her back, I wrote poems, sung love songs (on a mixed tape…lol) left flowers at her door etc. After a year or so of this I finally gave up…or did I?

 She ended up in a relationship that lasted a few years and I started seeing other girls as well but we always kept in touch with a phone call every now and then. I remember when she graduated high school she came by my parent’s house to show off the new car that her Nana had bought her. In the back of my mind I thought that if her and Mike ever broke up that I may still have a chance. They eventually did.

            A couple of years went by and we hadn’t talked much, this was 1991. I was at a local night club (Cheers) dancing with some girl and a friend of mine came up and whispered two words in my ear that instantly stopped my moon walking robot, and I just left that poor girl alone on the dance floor to see for myself. The two words he said…”Jackie’s here”

            I approached her and we talked and danced and had some drinks. I had quite a few that evening but in the morning I could vaguely remember us making out! I wasn’t sure if I had dreamt this or not so I called her that day and asked her flat out. She replied “yes but I don’t want to talk about it” I had a smile on my face the rest of the day. Not long after we ended up back together.          

            At the time Jackie’s sister (Danielle) was seeing a guy (Jamie) and they were in loooove! Actually, they seemed like the perfect couple at the time and had been together quite awhile. I remember Jackie’s mom going to see a clairvoyant (fortune teller) and her session was taped. We all listened to it and some of the things said were eerily accurate. She (the clairvoyant) made a comment something like “I see that your daughter is with her soul mate” and everyone went on and on about how lucky her and Jamie were. Including me! Jack and I had just got back together so it never really crossed my mind. A few weeks later somehow this conversation came back up and Jackie looked at me and said “Why does everybody assume that she was talking about Danielle” I remember that statement like it was yesterday. They broke up a couple of years later and we were married in 1997. If you count all the time that we have been a part of each others lives it ads up to 27 years, and although this is more than half of my life, is no where near enough time with her. When people use the expression “living the dream” I literally was. It was always my dream since I was 15 to marry Jackie and raise a family together. To see her in her fight made me feel helpless at times. It constantly felt like I had a two hundred pound weight on my chest that made my heart ache and made it hard to take a deep breath. I know that without our two wonderful boys (Treydon 7 and Matteus 3) that she would not have had the strength to fight as long as she did.

            Those who know me are probably shocked that I am pouring my heart out. For whatever reasons I barely show my emotional side and prior to all this I think the last time I cried was when Joanie and Chachi broke up. I know everyone not from my generation is out there are scratching their heads saying Joanie and who? (Just Google it) But the past two years I found myself (usually when I was alone in the car) “emotional”. Remember that mixed tape that I mentioned with me signing love songs on…years later when we were already married she pulled it out of a box and played it, I was totally embarrassed. Jackie was the most loving and understanding mother and wife and I know that every accomplishment that I have achieved was directly related to her support and encouragement. I just wanted to share some of our history so you know that your kind donations, prayers and positive thoughts were not only helping my beautiful wife during her struggle, but it also gave me the strength to provide her with the support that she needed.

 I cannot express the words to say how much I’ve appreciated everything that you have done for us. Jack was the love of my life, the mother of my children and my very best friend in the world. My soul will forever ache without its mate.





Darren

           

36 comments:

  1. I am speechless and sobbing. What an amazing tribute to the love story you and Jackie lived. You will always have that, and that love will give you the strength to carry on and raise the precious boys you and Jackie created together. Thank you for sharing so deeply of yourself at your darkest hour Darren, and know that no matter how much time passes, you can always count on us for anything.
    xoxoxo
    Tanya, Rick and Joshua Maksymiw

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  2. Darren, my heart is breaking for you. Jackie was so strong and so loved by so many. Yours was truly a love story. I even seem to recall a story about you riding your bicycle down to Birch Bay to see Jackie one summer when she was there with Maura :)There are no words for your loss. You are blessed with yours and Jackie's family and friends that no doubt will do their best to support you. Love you to you and your family, Lauren.

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  3. Darren what an amazing love story! I am soooo sorry to hear this sad news and have been following Jackie's story for a year. My heart goes out to you and your boys and may you hold on to all of those great memories and stories and keep them alive. Big Hugs!
    Michelle Bell (Scanlon)

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  4. Darren,
    It has been way too long. Firstly , I thank you for sharing. It has taken me back to jr high on memory lane. And to today,reminding me to love my wife even more. My deepest condolences. You will be in my thoughts & prayers.
    Steve Loeppky.

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  5. Darren, thank you for sharing your love story. I am to happy to have witnessed those early elementary school moments and have always found it a true testament of love that you and Jackie persevered through it all. I am so terribly sorry that you have lost her after such a brave fight and you are all in my thoughts.
    Allison (Roe) Volk

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  6. Darren and Family, you are so lucky to have lived your dream with such a beautiful woman. She will never be forgotten! You and your boys are in my thoughts.
    Adria Dewar

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  7. I do believe she was probably the only girl in town who could have stopped your moon walking robot in its tracks. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful love story. A True Love story. Sherry xo

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  8. Darren, yours truly was a match made in heaven. You married your soul mate and have two beautiful children. Thank you for sharing your story in such a personal, candid and intimate way. I'm proud to call you a friend. Jackie touched the lives of so many and will truly be missed. You and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
    Perry, Ani, Mattias and Lukas Olson.

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  9. Darren - thank you for sharing yours and Jackie's story. I loved your Jackie and admired her for the amazing teacher and human being that she was. I will truly miss her big smile, her gentle spirit and her amazing love for everyone. My prayers are with you and your boys.

    Sheila Fedoruk
    (Grandma Sheila)

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  10. Darren-even though I have never met Jackie or you I have been following Jackie's blog since day 1. Between it, knowing Scott Fraser's Mom and the common bond of having Dr. Klimo in our lives I feel as though I get to know you and yours. My heart goes out to you and the boys. Jackie was truly an amazing, strong and caring women who touched so many lives during her hard fought battle. She would be so proud of you for sharing your love story-how beautiful it is. Jackie will always be with you and the boys. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless.
    Gail and Walter Plican

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  11. I also never met Jackie though I emailed her once to say how she had found her way into my life via three separate people - friends of hers and yours whose are mere acquaintances of mine. I found out about her diagnosis within weeks of it via Kathy whose daughters went to preschool with my daughter then again, months later via Diana whose son takes piano with my daughter. Found out she sat side by side with another friend while having chemo. I have followed her fight. Cheered and prayed for her. And now I weep for her family left behind. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Christine

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  12. Darren - As I wipe away my own tears, I really must thank you for sharing such a beautiful story...I've been acquaintances of both you and Jackie since junior high. I re-met Jackie when I went in to go have a chat with my sons teacher 2yrs ago, her last groups of kids at Kinvig. I have to tell you that he hated that school, but truly liked his Mrs.Lunot and was always trying to keep her smiling...I just read your blog to my son and some other Kinvig grads at my house who also knew or were lucky enough to have had her as their teacher. My thoughts and prayers to you, the boys, the families and everyone who was blessed enough to have known your Jackie

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  13. Darren and Family, prayers for you and the kids, Jackie was a great gal, I remember those days, I too back in the day thought you were the lucky guy at Sands, great gal and all. Darren great thoughts shared with us on the blog. My dad is terminal with Leuk. 24 Chemos and we are still going, take each day as it comes, min by min, hour by hour, love those kids, and be strong. HOPE, STRENGHT, COURAGE. Jackie was a insperational gal, her blogs strenght keeps me and my wife going and I am sure others. Thanks for those words. Another special life lost to a horrible disease.

    Paul & Lia Rushton
    Surrey,BC

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  14. There are no words. Our thoughts are with you and your beautiful boys.
    Tracy & Ken Fish

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  15. Darren,
    Thanks so much for sharing your life with Jackie, with all of us. I haven't seen or talked to Jackie since high school but always thought that she was a woman full of life, love, compassion and courage.
    Jackie - thank you for sharing your courageous battle, I read your blogs over and over and because of you, I take my Vitamin D every day! I hope that you were welcomed into heaven by your Father, now may you rest in peace.
    Thanks Darren for writing the last entry to Jackie's Blog. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your boys.

    Karen Sutton
    Abbotsford, BC

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  16. Darren,
    My heart is breaking for you and the boys. Jackie was so strong and so loved by so many. What an amazing love you and Jackie shared. I remember you singing and practising 'I'm a Believer' on the guitar for Jackie's 30th, like it was yesterday. "Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer ...not a trace of doubt in my mind ...I'm in love, I'm a believer ...I couldn't leave her if I tried ...". I knew then that you were soulmates. Your love for each other will give you the strength to endure and carry on raising your incredible boys. Please know that you and the boys are in our thoughts and if there is ever anything we can do, we are here for you!
    Love to you and your family,
    Naomi, Jon, Alexis and Matthew Moore
    xoxo

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  17. Darren,
    Although it's been many years since I've seen you, I've been thinking about you lots. Thank you for sharing your journey with Jackie, I laughed and I cried. I've been following Jackie's blog, and what a strong and courageous woman she was. So, so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful boys, the Lunot's and the Mountford's, and everyone that knew her. Stay strong.
    Kimi Ozaki

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  18. Darren,
    Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you.
    Mike Jackson

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  19. Darren and family,

    I'm so sorry, to hear about your loss. My child grew up with jackie, as he went to kinvig from grade one till grade7.He loved kinvig, and he loved jackie.He was lucky to have her as his grade7 teacher in 09.He would ask if he could go bac to say hi to mrs.lunot, but sadly he never got the chance.my son has always said, that his grade 7 year, was the best because of jackie.She will be missed greatly, by her former students and their parents as well.May u find peace one day, knowing that jackie is free of pain, and in gods loving embrace.
    Charlene and Devon Johnson

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  20. Darren, Matteus and Treydon:

    I had the pleasure of getting to know Jackie only in the last year. I remember how very excited I was to be invited to your home for a "playdate", so Dominic could play with his little buddy Matteus (my friends don't have children, so this concept of a playdate was wonderful to me!). It struck me that day what a beautiful person Jackie is, how loving a mother and wife she is and what a kind friend she is. I remember getting home after a lovely afternoon with her, and reflecting on what a nice day i had had with my new friend. We conversed, we laughed, we were entertained by watching our boys play together. and that is the day that I learned, from watching Matteus, that my son too was perfectly capable of dressing and undressing himself! Everytime Dominic takes off his shirt and proudly says, "see mommy, i did it, just like Matteus!", I will remember that great day I had with Jackie. We talked about getting together again, but we were not able to. Darren, my heart just aches for you and the boys. Thank you so much for sharing your love story with us. I know these times are hard, I can't even begin to imagine your pain. I just keep thinking now that Jackie is now comfortable, and no longer in pain. and I find peace in knowing that I had the opportunity to get to know such a beautiful person. May God bless and protect you and your family. ~Helen and Dominic Fehrenberg Mariche

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  21. Real love stories have no endings...this story will live forever in the hearts of everyone who loves you both.

    I am honoured to have been a part of it and so proud of the man/father you've become. I love you, Darren. I will always be here for you and the boys.

    xox Kathi

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  22. Darren, Treydon, Matteus, and all of your family: Our hearts break for yours, and we send you our deepest condolences.

    I went to Sands and ND with you both, and remember this love story well; you were a notorious couple, and very much like the Joanie and Chachi of North Delta!
    I have followed Jackie's story and blog, and hoped and prayed for her and your family.

    So many have been touched by Jackie's beauty, and may you and the boys find strength, Darren.
    Love and peace to your family and your boys xo

    Andrea (formerly Slagter) and Chris Shigematsu

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  23. Darren...thank you for sharing your story. It's been a long time since I have seen you or Jackie, but I remember your relationship well from those Delta days!! I've been following Jackie's blog and you and your family have been in my families thoughts so much! I was so sorry to hear of Jackie's passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your boys and everyone whose lives Jackie touched. Love, Clare (Jones) Mahaffey

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  24. Darren and family, thank you to both Jackie and you for sharing your couregous story. We are deeply sorry for your loss. I worked with Jackie's mom for many years and we having been thinking and praying for all of you daily.
    Rose (Slatinek) and Michael

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  25. Darren.. its a beautiful story and thanks for sharing. My heart goes out to you and your family in the loss of Jackie. I didn't know her to well as a friend but I knew from Audrey's Daycare that she was a wonderful loving mother. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and the boys. ERin (binding) Steve, Cathlene and Elizabeth (daycare friends)

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  26. Thinking about you and your family.

    Scott Napper

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  27. Darren Thank you so much for sharing your love story. Now if I can stop my tears, I will tell you a story, when Treydon and Matteus started attending my daycare one day you can along to pick up your boys and one of the other Dads was their picking up their kids, Dan Steele, apparently you too have played football together, you had a quick catch up, and I overheard you say so proudly “I married Jackie Mountford” I could hear the joy in your voice, and I knew at that time she was your soul mate. It is not often people can share that kind of love and I am happy you had the chance to spend 27 years of being part one another; I wish you could have had more. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Treydon, Matteus, Pam and the rest of your family Love Tracey Borsuk

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  28. There are no words to express how sad I am to hear of your loss. Your family has been in my prayers since I heard about Jackie's illness and I will continue to pray for you and your boys.

    With deepest condolences - Jennifer Doerksen

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  29. Darren, what a beautiful story. My thoughts and prayers go out to you all.

    With deepest sympathy - Shona McEnhill

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  30. Darren. In reading the Last Entry I recall someone saying that life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the number of moments that take our breath away. Your comments speak volumes to this. My prayers and thoughts at with you and your family.

    Deepest condolences - Eric & Nancy

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  31. My heart aches for you and your sons! I "met" Jackie at the Triple Negative website....we talked on the forum about our trials. We were on the same protocol for awhile. I noticed she hadn't checked in there recently and noticed that she hadn't updated her blog. I am so sorry to hear that she lost her battle. May her memory live on in you and your children. Cherish the memories!

    Cathi

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  32. Sorry for your loss Darren my thoughts go out to you and your children. The role of a single Dad is a new one to me as well (my Lynn died on Dec 29). Good luck with all the paperwork that you are going to have to deal with. Remember patience is a virtue and prudence is the better part of valour. Take care.

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  33. Darren, I want to convey my deepest sympathy to you and the boys in the loss of your precious wife and their mom. I know Jackie from the Breastcancer.org site, and I just wanted you to know that I posted that Jackie became an angel over on the Stage IV thread, as she had posted there in past. You may in time want to read the post and all the condolences over her loss that you have received there as well. God bless, and again, I am so very sorry that you, the boys, and all her loved ones must suffer the loss of Jackie.

    Linda McMichael

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  34. I am so sad about the loss of Jackie and want to thank her (and you) for being so open and sharing the struggle. While I didn't know Jackie well in school, it really hit home for me. I know that what Jackie has done has really helped put things into perspective for a lot of people and we will live better lives because of it. Bless you and your family.

    Alice Seba

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  35. My heart goes out to you Darren and the boys. I too went to Sands and ND with Jackie. I remember seeing her in Costco just as she had received the news of her cancer. She looked at me with kind eyes and seemed sad. I didn't know then that she had cancer but I felt that she was trying to tell me something. I wish her peace and you support.
    On behalf of all the grads of 1990 we are so sorry for this loss.
    Heather(Kristoffersen) and David Partridge

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  36. This popped up on my facebook memories today. Jackie will always be remembered as the beautiful soul she is.

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